Physical Therapy A Thank you Note

Not that long ago, I had this adorable little baby who was 16 months old and barely crawling. Along came 19 months and she was standing and taking one, then two steps and it was a slow and steady processes but it was a start! I remember being at a family get together where Maggie's cousin, 2 weeks younger than her, was climbing on the furniture and running, trying to catch his older brother. The rest of the family joked "He's so fast because he has an older brother to compete with, Don't worry" Well obviously I worried! You tell a first time mother, don't worry - that's all she will do! It was clear at that moment that Maggie was not developing as fast as 'normal' - And then I was introduced to the world of Physical Therapy. It was a rocky relationship in the beginning. I was first told that "NO, your child is just slower because she's a first and girls tend to not be as physical" then I was told "Your child is behind in several developmental milestones and we advise you to have her participate in physical therapy twice a month" that later turned into twice a week. Wait? The first said it's no big deal give it time and now the second opinion is saying the opposite! Ultimately I felt that she was behind a little, I felt that it couldn't hurt for some additional help.

I was sitting with the Physical Therapist and she had a questionnaire for me that was about 2 hours long. The questions included:

"Does your child jump?" NO

Does your child kick a ball? No

Does your child walk up stairs? NO How about down? (really?!?) NO

Does your child fall, trip easily? YES (finally a yes, although a negative question...)

Etc... The list goes on and at the age of 2 PT became a regular part of Maggie's life.

I loved her first permanent Physical Therapist, she was energetic and creative and pushed Maggie enough so that she wouldn't have time to get up set she just had to get trying! Her new therapist, although wonderful, has experienced Maggie slightly older 4 & 5 and has seen the vast improvements but the long term issues we are faced with. All sorts of fun!!

But when I think back to when my almost 2 year old was struggling to walk and then I see my 5 yr old balancing on the curb of the walk way - I am SO grateful for the Physical Therapy, the ability of the human body and for my little supermodels stubborn determination.

Moments of Zen as John Stewart says

Maggie-isms

Going to the zoo, even if it's the 1,000th time is exciting and there are always new things to see and animals that might be awake from the last time we were there! I don't know of a single child or adult for that matter who isn't interested, entertained or fascinated by at least one animal and for most it's probably several animals. I love taking my kiddo to the zoo because she enjoys it completely. Yes she absolutely has moments of panic. Yes she freaks out when I have to physically remove her from the area with the fish (usually a minor meltdown moment, until she sees the next animal) Yes other children and adults can be rude towards her and my thick skin can crumble BUT her joy and happiness is worth the difficult moments. But what I have failed to mention is that it's not just the animals that Maggie can get fixated on... More Unconditional features that the Zoo offers. There are sculptures in the water park area that she will touch and lick... she likes to lay down on the floor (that thousands have walked on) next to the tanks and glass barriers even if there are 20 people trying to get close. And she gets super focused on, to me some odd stuff, and on this particular day it was this lovely dead foliage...

I mean, the rest of the family is looking at these beautiful and entertaining Takin, a big cow type chinese animal, and she is touching, mouthing, stemming and getting worked up by this dead plant... Special
I never know what she will be fascinated by today or tomorrow. I only hope it's not something that will harm her. She has this strange fascination with the burner on our gas stove... Yeah that's fun. Not! Another post for another time . . .

Mr. Holland's Opus

I want to talk to my child and have her respond to Me? I know I am asking for the world to start spinning in the opposite direction and for Republicans and Democrats to start getting along and for J. Lo to have a single release that is actually a good song but I'll I'm saying is It's lonely talking to yourself. I carry out full conversations with Maggie never saying a word. It doesn't make any sense and I'm pretty sure I am slowly losing my mind but I still do it with the hope that one of these days she will respond...

So I'm watching one of my favorite movies, 'Mr. Holland's Opus' and this scene of the teacher(glenn) and his wife(Iris) discussing their child's future comes on and it goes as follows...

[Glenn and Iris are discussing the possibility of sending Cole to a special school]
Glenn Holland: The doctor said that gestures meant...
Iris Holland: It's way more than gestures.
Glenn Holland: That gestures meant that Cole would never learn how to lip read or to talk!
Iris Holland: He can barely talk now, he can't say two or three words!
Glenn Holland: The guy is a specialist, Iris!
Iris Holland: Ohhh, he's a specialist who thinks that deaf people are retarded and he is not retarded. Cole!
Glenn Holland: What does he want? Give him what he wants!
Iris Holland: I don't know what he wants, I don't understand what he's trying to say. Don't you get it? You walk to school every day with all these children who are normal. I can't talk to my son! I don't know what he wants or what he thinks or what he feels. I can't tell him that I love him, I can't tell him who I am. I want to talk to my son! I don't care what it costs, I don't care what the stupid doctor says it's right or wrong. I want to talk to my son!

(bursts into tears and falls on floor with child...I added that but it's true)

I don't know what he wants or what he thinks or what he feels... Sometimes a face makes up for a thousand words- Maggie will shoot this glare as if to say, Mother!?! or Are you kidding me right now?!? She also has this look of disgust as if she is completely annoyed by me or another person and I must take care of it! She really can be quite facially expressive.

I don't care what it costs... Maggie's MA expires in April and I have no idea how I am going to cover speech for the next few months but I am going to make it work! I know at least for the next few months possibly year or so her therapy is covered but I think about long term and loose sleep over how much money this child will cost. The countless hours of therapy and specialists and driving back and forth to doctors and tank after tank of 4.00 dollar gasoline and hours spent in rush hour traffic. She is worth every minute, every dollar and every once of stress that I am overflowing with these days.

I can't talk to my son... I can talk to my daughter but if she is listening or paying attention or remotely interesting is doubtful. I feel as though through one ear and out the other most days.

I want to talk to my son! ... I want my daughter to talk to me so badly! I want her to say something funny to remind me that she is in fact related to me :) I want to talk to her and know that she is absorbing it and understanding what I am saying to her...

Am I asking too much??

Reminder that April is Autism Awareness Month

Book Worm

All about the books this one is! Partly because she's a visual learner another part communication device and entirely because she is fascinated with almost everything! She loves pointing to new pictures with such excitement - I find myself getting excited for her and then she gets even more excited! It really becomes an inflated sense of excitement but you get the idea. I am a movie girl, I started reading Dan Brown's 'The Lost Symbol" and then thought to myself, "there will be movie made... I'll wait to see that" So I'm so happy that she enjoys looking at the pictures and wants everyone to read to her. But it's slightly inconvenient when she requests book while I'm driving...

TOday she picked up the book and started taking care of business for herself! Quite the independent little child. She likes what she likes at a specific time and way.
Such a big girl! Motivated by Veggie Tales :-) Whatever works! as her therapists remind me!

Where's Maggie?

Can you find her? Be very, very quiet... were looking for Maggie...

She's taking a sunbath, like the cats do.

(I love my whales :-)

Imitation

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!? Or in this case imitation is my way, as a 3 year old, to figure out why on earth Maggie does that! I think Neela concluded that she still has no idea what Maggie is so fixated on, Why it feels so good to constantly have something in your mouth, Why it freaks her out so much to be around other children or Why Crying & Songs in a Minor chord send her to a very unhappy place. But Neela, sweet as can be, tried very hard for a good 20 minutes to try life out like Maggie. So she took a little toy and started rotating it in her mouth. Then she decided to follow Maggie around like her shadow and creep up on the sides because she quickly figured out that Maggie doesn't care to share her personal space bubble and to fully investigate her she would need to be sneaky! To Neela's credit, she never invaded the personal space bubble after the first time and genuinely wanted to figure Maggie out... Good Luck Girl - Her doctors and I think the same thing most days.

She followed every move. Every Step around the room trying to look at everything Maggie verbally or physically expressed attention towards. I loved that Maggie allowed a certain amount of another child around her. She has such a hard time when I work in nursery and bring her along and too often the other children set her off and it ends in tears and becoming very worked up. But the two girls were entirely focused on the pictures memorizing every detail!
And then it was over! Maggie was not going to play that game anymore! It was amusing while it lasted - and I was excited to have my iPhone if nothing else there - because that will probably never happen again and Neela may have been decided to choose another path in life away from researcher.

April

If you haven't heard April is not only for fooling people on the first on the month but a month to bring awareness, attention & respect to the Autism Community! Now because I get confused with all the days, months, colors and their causes I will lay it out simply.

A is for Autism.

A is for April.

Multicolored is usually on the ribbon.

Blue is the color of Autism.

Puzzle pieces are the universal symbol.

So now that I have really confused you. Just know this - Autism occurs in 1 out of 150 children!

But Autism is not just a generic name or the diagnosis De Jour every Autistic child has a name and a family all of which appreciate the awareness and respect generated by information and understanding of all this awareness.

With that in mind, as a parent I ask you to not be so quick to judge when a child that appears old enough to not have meltdowns, has a meltdown. Licks, mouths or touches EVERYTHING. Acts up around people and gets overwhelmed by anything and everything. Be patient. Be kind. Be considerate that the parent could also be at the end of their rope too!